Blog #3 Prose Essay

The Branch, an excerpt from The Beat Queen, America was still settling down in West. It follows two children, and how the environment affects each differently in contrasting ways. Erdrich diptychs their story and reactions to the environment through his sensational imagery created by his selection of detail, tone, and the contrasting shifts in point of view.

From the beginning, the train drops off two children, an addition and a subtraction. It is clear that the new place the children have stepped into, is a relatively new and blossoming place. In reality, the place is bleak and gray. At the beginning, Erdrich describes the soil as, "so newly tilled...the way it had in Kansas" shows us, not only the original impression of the youthfulness of the town, but also a deeper understanding of the settings and characters background. 

Looking for the aunt, the reality of the new place starts to sink in. The "string of houses, weathered gray or peeling gray paint" describes the bleakness of the new town. The choice to describe the color of the houses proves how run down and depressed the town is. But still, the two kids trudge on.

We start to see more interest in the children from Erdrich after their original introductions. Karl, bright, tall and skinny, is in contrast with plain and extra-ordinary Mary with her square personality. In contrast with the gray town, the introduction of a tree is a whole other story. The tree is described as having a dark beauty, weakly blossoming in a blooming but struggling town. While Mary continues to keep walking, Karl stops, entranced by the blossoming tree. 

Erdrich's decision to include the detail of the tree magnifies how the town was a budding "industry". Weak and beautiful, the town, like the tree, stand for a beauty that is trying to break through. 

Karl snaps out of the trance. Scared, Karl runs back to his comfort zone, the train, while Mary runs toward her aunt. This is due to the contrasting personality between the two and the effects of the new town. Mary tells this part from her point of view, reinforcing the idea that Karl is no longer part of the picture, he is the subtraction. 

Through the "gray" imagery and specific selection of detail, Erdrich shines light on the lives of  two children, one addition to the town, the other, a subtraction, both to lead separate paths after their experience in their new environment.

Reflection:

We wrote the prose essay Tuesday, August 28th. We were given 40 minutes to read and write an analysis describing how the environment affected two children through Erdrich's writing. 

Being a diagnostic essay, I feel like I was given a task that seemed too much to handle at first. After I started reading it and breaking the writing down I began to feel better about myself. The passage itself was a bit harder to understand in my opinion and I think that was clear through my, rather superficial, analysis. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to improve on choosing better quotes and provide deep analysis that relates back to it.

To set a measureable goal, I need to observe how many quotes I use and observe how much analysis I can provide from the evidence. To improve my control of writing, I want to be able to see my diction match the type of diction appropriate for the essay (elevated, colloquial, etc.). To see how well I do this, I need to count how many times I use passive diction when it could be active diction. I’ll know I’m improving when I “count” less and less passive diction.

Overall, I give myself a 4 for lack of better analysis and weak control of language.

Peer Edit

Divya,

First off, great job tackling your prose essay. To be honest, I saw more complexity and better analysis that I did with the Poetry Essay. I see you settling into the atmosphere of AP Literature and Composition. 

I think you do a great job with comparing and contrasting Mary and Karl, not only against each other but with the environment too. I think you missed the point of the "addition and subtraction" but you definitely made up for it with your complex analysis. I'd like to see this analysis throughout the entire essay. You start off strong and then you slowly die off a little, which is fine, but I'd like to see you endure through the pain of essay writing. 

I wish I had your confidence (not). I don't believe you deserve a four, but instead a 5 or maybe even a 6! Great job. Keep up the good work!

Selina

Blog #2 Poetry Essay

For the He Looked Not upon Her, a poem by English poet, George Gascoigne, reflects on a character’s emotions that have come about a previous mistake. This mistake, a girl he has fallen for, is the root for his feelings of resent that stem from him feeling wronged. This complex, multiple-sided attitude is developed through the poet’s imagery, and within that imagery, his purposeful diction.

Within the first two lines, Gascoigne sets a dark mood. “You must not wonder though you think it strange, to see me hold my louring head so low;” At first glance, this first line introduces the character as a wronged, shameful man who has bouts of, what we can assume as, depression. It can be assumed through the first line, that the other character, the girl, constantly gets looked at fondly by many for she finds it strange that the main character now shames his face around her.

In the next four lines (lines 5-8), Gascoigne uses imagery to reflect his character’s emotion after he had been wronged. The four lines after that (lines 9-11), are purposefully written to match the previous four with another example reflecting his reconciled emotions.

The first set of four lines uses a mouse to replace the character symbolically. The mouse, a lowly creature, can be compared to our character at his lowest point. “Broken out of a trap”, the character has broken free of his dark desire for the girl. The next line, “is seldom [enticed] with the trustless bait, But lies aloof for fear of more mishap” clearly tells us that the main character has learned his lesson, is resentful of his previous self and projects his anger and life’s mistake on her. She, the girl, being the reason for his misery, has made him feel as a fly—one of earth’s many small, pesky creatures, unworthy to live longer than a week on the planet. The fly, “scorched” by the fire, is worse off than it was before the encounter. Our main character has been “burned” and feels misery after associated with the girl, he also compares to as “fire”—a dangerous but beautiful creation.

He ends it as de

Reflection:

In AP Language and Composition, we wrote an argumentative analysis on the poem, For He That Looked Not Upon Her. If I were to give myself an overall score, it would be a 4. First off, I didn’t even finish the essay so timing was an issue. My analysis was also slightly superficial. Subpar analysis and lack of control of writing would be my main two issues. I find that I know what I want to say but I have a hard time communicating it through words. Part of me knows that once I’ve written a couple more essays, I’ll be able to get back into the swing of things.  The other part knows I need to work on becoming a more concise writer. By the end of the year, I should see a steady increase in my score. To measure my progress, I need to be able to list what I think I did well and poorly for each essay I’ll do in the future. By the end of AP Literature, I should see more “pros than cons”.

My comments:

Dear Diva, 
First off, I would like say, great job on your first AP Literature Essay. That being said, there are still some problems, obviously. I don't believe you deserve a 4 but you certainly don't deserve a 9. Don't underestimate your writing abilities. Your interpretation of the poem is accurate but your analysis could use some work. 

Your analysis can be summed up as this. Your scratching the top of the glass but aren't breaking through. I would say your analysis was good enough to bump you a point or 2 up. I feel like you know what you want to say but you have a hard time communicating it. Try working on more effective diction rather than using phrases like "very good"

You do a good job at organizing and have a solid open-ended thesis allowing room for discussion. 

Overall, there is room for improvement but you did a decent job considering that it is the beginning the year. I expect growth.

http://vinoddivyaapenglish2016.blogspot.com/2015/08/blog-2-poetry-essay.html?showComment=1440435319075#c8179853854465625093

Dear Morgan,
First off, good job. That being said, there is room for improvement. 

The thesis, the basis for your entire essay, is a bit close-ended and doesn't tell much. What kind of diction, what kind of form? Is the imagery vivid? Work on opening up that thesis a bit more instead of having an AP EURO DBQ style thesis. You feel?

You have a good writing style. By good writing style, I mean that it's easy to read and you have a firm control over your writing. I would like to the see the content of what your writing about (the analysis) go a bit more in depth. Think, "why would the author include this example, this word, this form? And how does it work together to create a complex attitude?"

I would give you a 5 because, though your analysis was lacking a bit, your control of language was good. 

Sincerely,
Selina 

http://jewettmorganapenglish2016.blogspot.com/2015/08/blog-2-poetry-essay.html?showComment=1440435868157#c6392756840393873994  

REVISED DRAFT:

In the sonnet "For That He Looked Not Upon Her", George Gascoigne exhibits a complex, multi-sided attitude through several tone shifts when expressing his past with "Her". Gascoigne matches nature's infliction of pain on innocent animals to his own sense of betrayal when a women rejects his love. The sober analogy of a scarred mouse and hurt fly pairs with the sour alliteration and despairing diction of Gascoigne’s commentary to dismiss love as a malicious and deceiving siren.

There are several shifts within the sonnet that shape the complex attitude of the speaker. In the first shift we see. The speaker changes the focus from describing his own emotions to drawing a comparison with a mouse who cannot trust bait after he escaped a trap. The tone becomes pitiful as the speaker empathizes with the figurative mouse who has just broken out of a trap, no longer "’ticèd with the trustless bait". The speaker cannot trust the woman, just as the mouse cannot trust the food. Both desired food/love, and both were betrayed.


Parallel in structure, the next shift that occurs within the next two lines, the speakers tone becomes more condemning and accusatory of the wrongdoer. The focus shifts to the consequence of the mouse escaping the trap, and the psychology of its aversion. “But lies aloof for fear of more mishap, And feedeth still in doubt of deep deceit". In this quatrain, the speaker is, without a doubt, upset and now cautious of his future, fearing the same situation happening again. He shows this attitude by first, stating a metaphor that is reflective of himself, and then stating the consequences of his mistake.

We see that in the next quatrain, it is very similar to the one before. The focus shifts to another analogy of a fly who has been scorched by fire. The tone returns to being pitiful, in parallel with the 1st shift. The fly, naturally attracted to fire, will “hardly come to play with [it]” again. This is parallel to his other metaphor and his situation because he naturally drawn to a woman but must avoid her to protect himself. He uses the fly's and the mouses' situation to justify his avoiding her.

Finally his last shift happens in the rhyming couplet at the very end of the sonnet. The rhyming at the end of the sonnet, meant to emphasize a point, wraps up the speakers last exclamation against his love interest. Relating to the title, the speaker expresses how he will "wink or else hold down my head, Because your [her] blazing eyes my bale have bred." This final shift is a change in focus from an abstract, general surrender of love to a specific description of his own heartbreak. The tone is resigned as the speaker submits to the “inevitable” solution to his problem. We see that the speaker accepts his aversion to his love as the only solution to his emotional anguish.

Through the multiple tonal shifts, we see how the speaker's tone and attitude change as the poem progresses, finally ending with the acceptance of his emotional state. Comparisons in the poem that helped develop the tonal shifts, were intended to reveal more about the author’s situation and mindset, and show that he really does have no other option but to avoid love, because in his natural attempt to find it, he scorched himself and learned of the dangers of the game. We see that the speaker passes through several tones that combined create a complex attitude.

Reflection:
The new, three-sentence thesis, was beneficial because it was straight-forward but allowed for complexity. The thesis stated a stance rather than just copying the prompt. The tone shift chart helped clearly show the authors complex attitude, especially as it changed from shift to shift. Looking at each shift, I could compare and contrast them to each other, using those observations to support the idea of the speaker's complex attitude. The tone chart contained everything from, tone to literary devices that helped me deepen my analysis while still relating to thesis. Most importantly, I believe that the tone chart helped me focus in on necessary details, which I struggled with the first time around. Overall, I feel like the tone chart coupled with the new thesis, boosted my confidence when writing the second draft.

Blog #1 Multiple Choice Reflection

It was our 4^th day of AP Literature and Composition. All of us got out our 5 Steps to a 5 book and began taking a practice AP Literature and Composition multiple-choice test. We were short on time so we only did questions 25-50.

For me, the most significant problem I encountered was my inability to know what several of the answers meant, especially ones containing literary devices. Some of this confusion is due to a lack of vocabulary while other issues I faced were simply the ones I nodded my head and whispered, “I don’t know, please send help, SOS sinking in my struggles”. I also felt difficulty in understanding the text in general and looking beyond what the literal text meant.  The types of questions I found most difficult for me were the “inferential” ones such as, “tone, effect, and “why the author chose to do  (insert what they did)”.

Overall, I felt that this was a good indicator of where I am when it comes to AP multiple-choice tests. It being the “diagnostic test”, I expect to, by the end of the year, improve from a depressing, 16/25.  From this test, I’ve gotten a feel for my weaknesses and (dare I even say it) my “strengths”.  As a next step, I plan on taking more practice tests in the future to see, hopefully, where I improved and where I’ve stayed consistent.  Throughout the year, I should see a steady increase in my ability to understand the text and answer questions correctly, thus increasing my score.