Blog #3 Prose Essay

The Branch, an excerpt from The Beat Queen, America was still settling down in West. It follows two children, and how the environment affects each differently in contrasting ways. Erdrich diptychs their story and reactions to the environment through his sensational imagery created by his selection of detail, tone, and the contrasting shifts in point of view.

From the beginning, the train drops off two children, an addition and a subtraction. It is clear that the new place the children have stepped into, is a relatively new and blossoming place. In reality, the place is bleak and gray. At the beginning, Erdrich describes the soil as, "so newly tilled...the way it had in Kansas" shows us, not only the original impression of the youthfulness of the town, but also a deeper understanding of the settings and characters background. 

Looking for the aunt, the reality of the new place starts to sink in. The "string of houses, weathered gray or peeling gray paint" describes the bleakness of the new town. The choice to describe the color of the houses proves how run down and depressed the town is. But still, the two kids trudge on.

We start to see more interest in the children from Erdrich after their original introductions. Karl, bright, tall and skinny, is in contrast with plain and extra-ordinary Mary with her square personality. In contrast with the gray town, the introduction of a tree is a whole other story. The tree is described as having a dark beauty, weakly blossoming in a blooming but struggling town. While Mary continues to keep walking, Karl stops, entranced by the blossoming tree. 

Erdrich's decision to include the detail of the tree magnifies how the town was a budding "industry". Weak and beautiful, the town, like the tree, stand for a beauty that is trying to break through. 

Karl snaps out of the trance. Scared, Karl runs back to his comfort zone, the train, while Mary runs toward her aunt. This is due to the contrasting personality between the two and the effects of the new town. Mary tells this part from her point of view, reinforcing the idea that Karl is no longer part of the picture, he is the subtraction. 

Through the "gray" imagery and specific selection of detail, Erdrich shines light on the lives of  two children, one addition to the town, the other, a subtraction, both to lead separate paths after their experience in their new environment.

Reflection:

We wrote the prose essay Tuesday, August 28th. We were given 40 minutes to read and write an analysis describing how the environment affected two children through Erdrich's writing. 

Being a diagnostic essay, I feel like I was given a task that seemed too much to handle at first. After I started reading it and breaking the writing down I began to feel better about myself. The passage itself was a bit harder to understand in my opinion and I think that was clear through my, rather superficial, analysis. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to improve on choosing better quotes and provide deep analysis that relates back to it.

To set a measureable goal, I need to observe how many quotes I use and observe how much analysis I can provide from the evidence. To improve my control of writing, I want to be able to see my diction match the type of diction appropriate for the essay (elevated, colloquial, etc.). To see how well I do this, I need to count how many times I use passive diction when it could be active diction. I’ll know I’m improving when I “count” less and less passive diction.

Overall, I give myself a 4 for lack of better analysis and weak control of language.

Peer Edit

Divya,

First off, great job tackling your prose essay. To be honest, I saw more complexity and better analysis that I did with the Poetry Essay. I see you settling into the atmosphere of AP Literature and Composition. 

I think you do a great job with comparing and contrasting Mary and Karl, not only against each other but with the environment too. I think you missed the point of the "addition and subtraction" but you definitely made up for it with your complex analysis. I'd like to see this analysis throughout the entire essay. You start off strong and then you slowly die off a little, which is fine, but I'd like to see you endure through the pain of essay writing. 

I wish I had your confidence (not). I don't believe you deserve a four, but instead a 5 or maybe even a 6! Great job. Keep up the good work!

Selina